'Paa'..a rare Amitabh's comeback

This is one of the films that you should see, not for the story or the music, but just for the sheer brilliance of the actor’s performance, narration and finally the direction. A little less known in northern cinema, R. Balki has made a deep impact over the viewers by presenting this clean movie. The movie has been in news for quite some time that explains its box office reviews with larger than life numbers.

The Midnight 12

It was a whole new excitement.. I was waiting (made to wait) outside our second bedroom. Today the day was special. I had every reason to get spoiled. I was tired with my office chores and was crambling because of my old-found activity, gym. As soon as I entered the house, I could sense something was being cooked up. Surprise(s) was(were) being followed up.

As soon as the clock hit 12 in the midnight, I was instructed to step inside the surprised den, our second bedroom. The place was dark. It was filled with warm air that gave an instant relief from the outside cold. The room was midly lit up with yellow streaks of candle flames. I could see a nice small centre table ornated with four candle at each corner. Their flames could be seen as intersecting with the centre. At the middle of the table, there was a chocolate cake placed with a cutting knife besides it. The cake was beautifully carved with chocolate chips and layers of soft cream. The room was filled with the fragnance of cake and warmed with burning flames.

"Happy Birthday"

Following was the shower of gifts. Much needed gym bag, socks, travelling pouch, bouque of roses, perfume and two lovely written greeting cards. There was a ticket to movie 'Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani' for the next day. My day was made..

A beautiful wife and blessings from all who cares...what else you need on your birthday..!!

Thanks

Love u..

No pest-ering anymore

Letter to my juniors…

Once upon a time, I had a good time living with my family. After my marriage, we had decided to shift our base from a filthy locality called ‘Kamaan’ to some valley in a posh locality known as Banjara hills. It was called as ‘Amrutha valley’. It was nice valley with all sort of rich and average kind of people. There was an apartment on the ground floor that we chose to make our dream house. We knew it by our trusted spies that this apartment was recently rented to nice new wedded couple. We thought of giving them their wedding gift. On recommendations, all in our community decided to raid the house and spread our reach to every possible corner. My two little children and I along with my husband took shelter in a small, undersized gap in a joint in water pipeline located in the kitchen. We had a nice cozy environment there. During the heat, we used to squeeze in the gap and stick to the water pipeline to get a breeze from gushing water inside. Sometimes we used to dive from our residence into the deep, cool sink below where these humans keep their used utensils. The food stuck on to these utensils was more than enough for my family. Every night we used to treat ourselves by diving into these food particles, and normally roaming in around the gas burners to get some really big pieces. And please…I am not at all ashamed of this. I could see numerous of my species struggling around in the kitchen to get access to every bit of opportunity. Some were even able to make their way into the miniscule gaps in water filter that could leave the resident dumbfound with the whole idea of purified water. Some could get the access to the refrigerator and I must salute the one who could successfully enter the freezing area and stay their for some days or nights or weeks…actually I don’t remember, finally he was thrown out of the area as a dead.

This guy was super-cool. Every time he sees us; he took out his liquid machine and spray at us indiscriminately. Initially we were very scared with his actions as many of our species died because of this miraculous liquid. We had called an emergency meeting and decided to fight back these bastards. We all developed the resistance towards this liquid spray and whenever he tried to spray at us, we used to act for a while and as soon as he leave the place, we regain our conscious and start our daily chores. I must admit, after some weeks, I was even affectionate towards this liquid. It gave us the moment to get perfumed and attract other male species..!!! He was very irritated sometimes. I still remember the day when he found some of my relatives in a pack of tissue papers carefully stacked over the dining table. This was the dare-devil act and I must salute them as well.

We were living happily and our kids were now full grown species, but one fine day….

The lovely couple had returned from some long vacations, and it seems they were quite furious about the way we had explored the whole area. Two weeks later, we saw some unknown guy who was fixing something over the walls. All of a sudden he came close to our house and pasted a big drop of something really good. It was good time for a feast…I thought. We couldn’t resist our temptation and all of sudden barged upon that fruity cream. I had a sour throat, so couldn’t help but to resist such feast. I had a nice time looking at my family feeling happy and satisfied after such nice party. I was relieved…it was a nice break after long dry spell. After some time I had the most disastrous nightmare of my life. All of a sudden my husband and children started coughing and getting impatient excessively. As I look outside, many of our species were seen swallowed to death. All the bodies were seen scattered over the floor. The sink was filled with filthy layer of deceased ones. There was a hue and cry all over the place. And finally, I felt my family lying over my hands. They were all gone. I felt, we did a mistake to spread our cruelties over this human place. We could develop the resistance towards the magical spray, but couldn’t hold on our temptations towards a fruity gel.

As I leave this place in distress, all I want to say is… 'I am sorry'

Yours truly,
Mrs. Cockroach# 201
---------------------------------------------------------------
Narration by: Cockroach residing in our house since many ages
The magical liquid is cockroach repellant known as ‘Hit’, and the fruity feast is the gel used by pest control people.

..and now by this time, you would’ve known who the guy is

Let’s play NFS ...

One fine day, I realized that I should buy a good, sophisticated gaming console and play my favorite ‘Need for Speed (NFS)’ for ages. Of course, I feel eligible enough to buy and play such action packed games. NFS is a game where various cars struggle to complete their lap in minimum possible time while chasing and maneuvering through tensed pathways. You get scratches, dents, and sometimes get abused by the trailing drivers. At least 2 years of my familiarity with Hyderabad roads have made me eligible for all these kinds of extreme conditions…so why shouldn't I buy such games..!!!!

I am talking about the complex traffic conditions in Hyderabad that made me write something about this (sorry for misleading title). I had been staying in this city for more than 2 years and during these years the traffic sense had worsened from bad to worst. On my drive from my house at Banjara hills (one of the few posh area left in this city) to my office at Madhapur (place that reside lots of IT companies and lots of employees, nobody is unemployed in this area..!!), I could observe so many variations of the traffic that left me in state of astonishment. I must say there are only 2 kinds of vehicles that can survive such evil conditions- bikes and auto rickshaw.

The species called ‘auto rickshaw’ is a triangular piece of vehicle with pin ball attached to its front. It is ideally suited for high populated cities where 6-7 people can easily be accommodated in a place meant for 3. Normally it becomes difficult to locate the driver in the horde of passengers squeezed in. Very often its indicator lights are either missing or malfunctioning. So all while driving behind/beside this species, you need to keep a faith on your luck and institution and anticipate their moves and sudden turns. And don’t be jealous they can drive at a reckless speed at which you can’t even imagine driving your dear vehicle

Second vehicle that I am found of is bike, motorcycle. Today it’s very common fashion to drive while listening to FM radio or talking over cell phone. I would say it’s a reply to latest Idea ad with slogan “drive when you talk”. More often these species could be seen in the middle of the busy roads with their head leaning towards left. But I must appreciate that these bikes contribute towards saving the space available on the roads by squeezing in to fill every inch of space during jams, crossing or whatever.

You really need to have sense to drive in 4-dimensional traffic. There are places where you need to look around in 360 degrees to save yourself from impounding traffic. While talking about the crossing which I had mentioned sometime ago, I haven’t seen any zebra crossing or zebra crossing being obeyed in this city. May be I am too innocent to expect these things in this country. People start protruding from one bank of road and continue sliding across the road to reach other side of it. And during this you might be left wondering whether you will be able to make it before they can cross the road. But ultimately I would seriously like to salute the guys who join the traffic from left road without even looking at coming league of traffic from right. These are the real heroes of nation who don’t fear of any disasters

It feels pain to know that Hyderabad being a famous cyber city is hosting such kind of traffic conditions. It’s really not safe to drive in composed manner. We can’t even compare these conditions with international ones keeping in mind that the population has overgrown in few past years. I know there is no possibility of a quick fix solution right now, but realization would be sufficient.

By this time am sure you would agree that I hold all the necessary qualifications to buy and play the video games that I experience daily on roads

Floods...boon for atleast someone

"Situation is grim but we definitely need to travel to Bangalore..."

"...But how?? the roads are flooded and the tracks are all submerged"

"Let's see if we can get any flight today or tomorrow early morning..."

"Oh yeah..!! we have couple of them...and it start with 9800 to 14000 per seat..!!!"

Andhra was recovering fast from the CM chopper crash, and then sudden heavy splash of rain marred the 'very' spirit of people. Many villages got submerged in the flowing water and number of people got stranded. The roads and specially national highways got affected by the flowing water. The railway tracks got damaged leaving couple of trains standing still for days..!!!

The only means of transport left was airways. We have numerous airways carriers that can accommodate the plight of travelers. On a fine day you can get a ticket for Hyderabad to Bangalore route for Rs.3000 to 4000 maximum, but today was a special day. It was the day meant for healthy business for these carriers. The same ticket was now priced at Rs.9800 to 14000 i.e. more than 3-4 times than normal prices...!!! It seems to be perfect occasion for airline company to plug their losses. It reminded me of similar occasion 2 years back when I had to travel from Jaipur to Delhi to attend my convocation at IIT Kanpur. At that time, a mere Rs.1500 worth ticket was priced at Rs.11000 i.e. around 10 times..!!! I am sure, Indigo and Kingfisher had a good laugh at the end of day.

But think about the traveler, someone could have a urgent meeting or someone might be holding a breath in waiting. Lakhs of people travel between these two metropolitan cities and instead of providing them a pinch of relief, these companies are extracting the best from their pockets. Where goes the ethical governance during these tough times? I know it's the result of simple demand and supply equation, but aren't assumptions allowed here, haven't these contingencies been planned by airlines? Can't the government expose an upper limit cap on the surging fares to protect the right of traveling for common people?

Is there a way out? I would be consoled if a proportion of this extra money am shelling out for these travels is spend on flood relief projects, but can it happen???

I am back..!!!

...ahh finally I got some respite to return back to my blog..!!!

So many things have happened since the last time I had written something...I got a new project where am supposed to work on something which I am not really interested... study for my CPIM examination while slogging over this project... couple of guest visits... my laptop display screen slowly moving towards it's untimely death etc etc...

Apart from me, the news channels has been busy with lots of activities too...AP Chief Minister YSR's chopper was lost in the dense woods and was later found crashed in Naxalite hit area...Akshay Kumar was found at his usual best with 13 celebrities in a new reality show called 'खतरों के खिलाडी -season 2' . It's same as 'Fear Factor' which was earlier hosted by Mukul Dev in India (and that had failed miserably if I remember correctly)...It's not over yet, Bigg Boss-3 is yet on promotion, with Amitabh hosting the show this time (...!!!)...Many movies had released and to name the most favorite of them all is 'Kaminey', and most disappointing of them all is 'Dil bole hadippa' (why do guys still try to copy Chak De effect)...India was kicked out by none other than Pakistan in Champion's trophy ...

Meanwhile I found myself engrossed with new websites called Twitter and Facebook (at least they're new for me..!!), but I must admit, I wouldn't be able to cope up with Twitter's concept (am not as happening as required..!!)...

Anyways let me carry on with my blog..

Modern Reality..Rakhi vs Sita

We still hear stories about Sita being married to Lord Ram through auspicious ‘Swayamvar’ where numerous kings and delegations had arrived to grab the opportunity to marry the queen by proving their mettle through wisdom, power and fame.

This is new face of reality where everything seems so un-real. These days there are number of reality based television shows that can leave you struck with more expectations than before. Talking about the ‘Swayamvar’, this time we have Rakhi Sawant on NDTV Imagine (only they can imagine these ideas..!!!) where she is searching for her true soul mate. Rakhi vs. Sita…crazy..!!! Sita would have died twice before hearing this.

Anyways, coming back to the auspiciousness of this show, a nice palace somewhere in Udaipur had placed a perfect background for activities like these. Around 13 odd men had gathered in the palace to take a wild glimpse of their damsel. Their profession ranged from businessman, body-builder, actor, sales manager, police officer etc. These men are nowhere near to the handsome hunks normally you see in the reality shows.

Rakhi is as modest as she can be in front of the camera. No loud expressions, no frills in her dresses, but more of emotions, drama, cries and sobbing…”mera past bahut kharab raha hai”…”ab main apne liye jiungi”…”bahut saha hai maine”… these have become famous lines that can be heard repeatedly during the show. Seems Rakhi is the only person on this holy earth who has suffered the maximum in a life.

The boys are not far too. One of them already has a wife and 2 kids before coming to the show. And kudos to him, he still dares to love Rakhi and asking her to marry her and be second wife. Surprisingly his first wife and parents are absolutely ok with this. What a modern nation India is..!!! There is one Mathur guy (#@%#$^) who has abandoned his job to take part in this race toward a common goal.

Ram Kapoor and Gautami are hosting the show and he seems to be cursing on to why he said yes for this kind of show.

The guys seem to be flirting with Rakhi as soon as she appears in front of them as if she is going to distribute every part of her flesh to each one of them who impress her.

No matter how bad you image is in front of camera or the audience, you have to be sellable. Despite of being on the worse side of controversies, she had always made the point that she is heard and seen in every television news, but she has succeeded..!!!

So a message in disguise????

We are no better...

So we are retaliating against Aussies for the racial attacks made on Indian students in Australia. There have been number of cases in Australia where Indian students are stabbed and deeply injured for being Asians. It’s good to hear that communities in India have raised their voices in unison.

BUT.

Are we different from the Aussies in this respect? Isn’t India one of the serious examples of racism across nations? How the racism in Australia different than that in India?Students in Australia are assaulted for being Asian but in India you can have number of reasons for creating nation wide brouhaha. In this respect we are much ahead of any country in this World. You can feel apprehensive being of different religion, different state, schedule caste, different country etc etc…. People are attacked for following a religion of their choice. So the freedom as mentioned by constitution goes under wraps. Still parties like MNS explore a reason to deface non-Maharashtrians without having guts to prove themselves in front of terrorists during Mumbai attack. Still you are taunted as north Indians while driving a vehicle in southern part of India. You have reservations in schools, colleges, government jobs and now in private sector jobs too, for schedule caste people giving them the reason to be laid-backed. Why would a person struggle when he can easily get a job through reservation..??? On the other hand, how could a hard working schedule caste person prove that reservations had no impact on his credibility and experience..??? Even now, foreigners are looked upon with suspicion. Despite of knowing the fact that it is because of them that India has flourish in areas of tourism, outsourcing, infrastructure etc, we make fun of them, tease them, assault them and more.

Why do we need to address A.R.Rahman as “South Indian” after he received Oscar? Why every Muslim in India is looked as a Pakistani? What’s the problem in following the religion of your choice? Why the political parties have to be proved secular to get public empathy?

Phew..we have so many reasons to stab other people of our choice..!!! Is this the freedom governed by democracy that we had learned in our school? We are no better than others..!!!!

"Critical enough???"

It has been around 2 hour and 50 minutes since I have swiped in my office and staring at the white glowing computer screen in front of me. It shows Outlook mail inbox and a word document related to some heavy test scripts that I am assigned with for my next project that is going to start at new place. The cursor hasn’t moved much during this time except a bit of scrolling to avoid hibernation of desktop screen.

It has been two long years that I have spent my life in an IT industry and today somehow it just came to my mind how different was my life at Chambal, a typical manufacturing company. Yesterday my PM (Project Manager, your sole point of contact for promotions, demotions, queries, scams, slaps, regrets etc) explained me about the criticality of the document related to test scripts that I should read before starting a new beginning. “Criticality”…and that moment reminded me of my notion of criticality in real sense.

I was working with Chambal Fertilizers (CFCL) in Ammonia manufacturing plant and one fine day, during the plant start-up operation, we were instructed to fire a huge burner (it’s not as simple as igniting a household gas burner. This burner is as tall as 4 storeys building and is ignited with natural gas) that would heat the production gas to a temp of about 700 degree Celsius (if I remember correctly). One of my superior was standing on the ground floor (of the burner), clearing out the pipe inlet with the natural gas that will be ignited to form a flame. I was standing on the first floor and peeping into the peep holes that were meant to inspect the burner room from inside. My job was to watch out if any of those burners gets ignited with a flame so that our job was done peacefully. My manager and senior manager were standing at the ground floor carefully watching my actions (may be for next appraisal..!!!) and all of sudden called me to have a quick chat. I climbed down quickly and he told me one story about this burner. Last year 4 people had lost their lives during the same process of igniting a burner…!!! The peep hole through which I was watching the flame inside could have actually ripped me apart if flame would have started. My curvaceous smile turned into inverted smiley and my plain forehead turned into ripples…Critical enough???

One fine evening as I was strolling in Ammonia liquid storage area (in this area, the liquid-gas ammonia is stored in a gigantic cylindrical tanks. I would be over estimating myself if I could recall the capacity of each..!!), and had a little chat with the supervisor present over there. This area was isolated from the main operating plant and was guarded with a gun man and an operator. Casually I asked the operator that why do we need a person dedicated to look after this pair of tanks where hardly someone could think of passing by. He gave me suspicious smile and told me that a pin-hole leak in any of the tanks could release the ammonia gas in the atmosphere and can gradually suffocate the surrounding 3-4 villages to death..!!! The guard had to protect these tanks from being the target of sabotage… Critical enough???

It was late in the night sometime around 2-3 AM when all of us, the shift engineers, couldn’t resist a fast nap from the schedule. It was a fateful day when I was staring at the control panel when calamity struck us and caused the failure of big, important equipment. It was a gas heating chamber and the lid at the top was leaking. It took around 24 hours to shut the whole plant operations to avoid the lid to get dissembled from the chamber. If we hadn’t taken the set of actions at 2-3 AM in the late night, the lid would have detached from the chamber coupled with huge gas explosion that could take many precious lives with it… Critical enough???

I still remember many such incidents during my working days at CFCL that make me think about the real sense of criticality that we IT ‘professionals’ are normally worried about. We guys are tensed about knowledge criticality where we fear being laid back due to lack of required knowledge. But is it more dangerous or harmful than the criticality of loosing someone life? We consultants are normally worried about the client’s commitments and then the project becomes critical when the commitments are jeopardised. But think of the storage tank, if got burst could wipe out various villages in vicinity..!!!! Human criticality vs. Reputation criticality.

Which one is more critical and now what should be my reactions to these so-called criticalities???This issue/ realisation happen when a hard core Chemical Engineer is made to sit in front of desktops and required to consult the clients without even meeting them..!!

"Happy birthday 2 u..."

So keeping my previous post in background, it was the time when we all had set up a celebration mood for tonight.

It was raining like hell when she was in cab commuting to airport to receive her friend. I was just praying that the rains should not turn off the electricity that could seriously dampen the spirits I was trying to imagine. Finally she came home along with two of her best friends from Mumbai. We had a good dinner which was entirely cooked by her expert hands (“keema-pao”, the famous recipe in Mumbai and “rajma chawal”). As the clock turned “12”, wishes started pouring from all directions..!!! After few minutes, we heard the doorbell that broke the rings of her cell phones. The first surprise was about to get revealed…as she opened the door, she found a delivery man holding a bouquet and a chocolate cake, waiting for her signature. The surprise worked well and with all the fanfare she sliced her birthday cake into two pieces..!!!

Next day, she had received number of bouquets and around 60 phone calls wishing her the best of day (I never had more than 10-15% calls during my birthday!). We had planned for a lunch at restaurant named as “36, Chattees” (this name was crucified by one of her friend in a very dilapidated way..!!!). All her friends had gathered there on time and then we had a lunch of our lifetime. After the lunch, it was time for some desserts and then we flew to “Chocolate Home” for smoking brownie with chocolate sauce and a scoop of vanilla ice cream..!! One of the friends had chocolate tea, the concept of which was beyond our imagination, so we made peace by not even tasting it.

After a nice lunch we all returned back to our sweet home and then the second surprise had followed…

As we were lying around in our drawing room, we heard a door bell and she again found a delivery man holding a gift for her and waiting for her approval. As she opened the parcel, a beautiful wrist watch popped up and she was excited with her mouth wide opened. Few months back, she had wished for this watch but unfortunately we could never get hold of it because it was out of stock maybe due to new designs in display. Anyhow I could manage to get this from online shopping and personal persuasion..!!!

Anyways …as the day came to an end, all we were left with was a bouquet of happiness and well wishes..!!! It was her birthday after our marriage... it has to be special..

Few moments to go...

Ahh..it's just few hours from now and then we have a celebration waiting for us. I am so excited at the moments to follow few hours from now that I have decided to sacrifice my dear sleep and write this blog instead..!!!

How can I not celebrate this day when HE had blessed me with her aura by sending her to this Earth??

Everything is planned as of now. The cake has been ordered, the flowers would have been collated up to form a nice bouquet, the surprise gift would have been travelling across the states to reach here by tomorrow, the drinks had been set, the dinner had been made...and all that is missing is .. the 'tong' of clock at midnight today when she is going to cut her birthday cake.

It's her first birthday after we had met last year. When last time I had wished her, we were strangers. But now the world has changed..!!!

Now here is my wish for her, few moments before her day..."It's very rare to have so many qualities in one life time and you have possessed many of them already. I would thank him to bless me with the opportunity to spend the next half of my life with you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY... MY DEAR WIFE..!!!"

“HE knew about it..!!!”

It’s strange when we feel ecstatic in small packets of incidences that we experience in our daily life (indeed, daily routine). Yesterday we (me and my wife) experienced a great irony of nature that left us perplexed and laughing at ourself.

For the past few weeks (infact months to be conservative), Hyderabad was burning like hell, and despite of our house being on ground floor, we could feel the heat directly through our concrete walls. During these summers’ days, we had hosted two families (her parents and my parents)..!!! I don’t know whether they were able to ignore the heat but I could clearly see the question mark on their faces asking me, “Can’t it be better than this???” For many afternoons, I could hear my wife screaming because of 3-4PM type heat that made me imagine her being roasted in hot furnace. Everyday I just prayed to HIM to send some showers over my area so that I can safely declare the arrival of monsoons and avoid spending on Air Conditioner (or even a pair of desert coolers). This was very much similar to the village scene in movie ‘Lagaan’ where the whole crowd used to stare at the clouds and wish if it rains. Obviously my reasons were very much different than theirs..!!

Anyways, finally I lost my patience and we bought a brand new LG branded AC for our master bedroom. I was calculating the cut in our future spending while the final bill was being prepared at the showroom. The installation was done at the rock speed and our AC went live at 4 PM on Sunday. We were enjoying every moment of cool, sophisticated air in our bedroom…and all of a sudden….

As I was busy dreaming about healthy environment that we were plunging into…I came to hear some tapping outside. I asked my wife to reach out the door and see outside if everything is just fine. As she opened the door, I could see the deadliest thundershower I have ever seen at such a time..!!! Not even thunderstorm, it was the time when you get to see the first hailstorm of the year..!!! “Oh my GOD, how does HE know about this???” I suddenly felt being cheated by HIM and cursing like, “why hasn’t HE preponed this rain before”. The electricity went off and we were sitting like ducks in front of our AC panel. Somehow we were able to re-enjoy the comfort of AC in night and when I wake up in the morning I could feel a bit cold and feverish.

So this is my experience with something I ain’t in harmony with..!!!

Policeman gets poorer

This time I had a short and hilarious stint with a policeman standing near the Hyderabad Deccan railway station waiting for me to come…

After spending some four special days with us, it was departure time for my in-laws. They had to catch “Charminar Express” from Deccan railway station which was around 4-5 kms from my residence. I took my bike and my brother-in-law hopped on and we started our journey towards station amidst busy crowd and congested traffic. As we were approaching the entrance gates of the station, suddenly a traffic policeman (junior rank) held my bike’s handle and steered us towards the road side. I knew this was going to be an interesting event because I had all documents in place.

As I removed my helmet he started his routine dialogue, “NOC, PUC, Insurance papers agar hai to dikhao… nahin to challaan bharo”. I started smiling at him knowing the fact that he was wasting so much of his energy over fruitless attempt to extract extra money from me. As I showed him the road tax slip, he was stunned but he still had the hope that can make him rich by few hundreds. As I showed him pollution certificate and RC he could feel his hopes dying in the burial. The next document was insurance paper and I couldn’t get hold of the latest one. He was quick on commenting on this. He said, “yeh insurance purana hai...2007 ka..challaan 301 rupaiya..gaadi side mein lagaao”. I again smiled at him and was feeling giving him a salute for his determination. As I unfolded second insurance document which was again an expired one, he got delighted and immediately called up his supervisor and said in one tone, “Saahb, Rajasthan ki gaadi hai, insurance nahin hai, 301 rupaiya challan”. For few moments I was frightened by his excitement and thought again whether I had the valid document or I was living in an illusion. As his superior was taking note of all the details of the bike, I got hold of the original valid insurance document and with a wide grin I showed that to the policeman. He stared at it for some 2-3 minutes and with shear disappointment he couldn’t even recognise where the validity dates were mentioned in the document..!! He seems dull, disheartened and lifeless as he held this document in his hands. As I folded all the documents in my bag and faced up to ask policeman if he has any more queries, he was gone with the wind and was mingled with ongoing traffic (maybe in hope of another one. I told you, I salute at his determination).

In the end, as we fired the engine, the supervisor (still standing there, writing the necessary details of the challan) raised his head and asked us, “RC dikhao”…and we started laughing..!!!

'Zoozoo' in the age of romance

Finally we’ll see the new government holding the cabinet on Tuesday morning after much fanfare spread across elections and politics. UPA came out as a clear winner despite various odds against its favour. ‘Elections’ was not the only topic of this month, for least interested citizens there was Indian Premier League (IPL), a series of cricket matches that took more than 45 evenings of your schedule (matches are still going on..). People are still shuffling between sports channel and news channel to get latest of the news from both spheres.

In the midst of these two occasions I came to see one interesting ad: -Vodafone’s new character called “Zoozoo”…!!! I wasn’t interested in its first ad in which a group of ‘Zoozoo’s were lined up for getting Xeroxed…!!! As the concept matured, the ad seems to be quite amusing and these characters were getting comical. Each and every ad represents a functionality being offered by Vodafone and it is described in a very simple and efficient manner. The customers could relate to these situations quite comfortably and can laugh at the characters as they behave.

‘Zoozoo’ is a character that is played by actors wearing a white, body hugging suit and having an enormous looking shaped head. These heads were painted with every possible expression that needs to be displayed. Every shot of the ad consists of a situation and ‘zoozoo’s acting in that and finally how the particular functionality of Vodafone can help you in these situations. The expressions are quite good and hilarious. On the contrary Airtel has also launched its ad featuring Madhavan and Vidya Balan representing a romantic couple and showing the add-on functionalities of Airtel. But since the IPL has started (around a month or so) Airtel has changed its theme hardly twice. On the other hand I have seen almost 10-15 different themes of ‘Zoozoo’ since they appeared first time on television. The popularity that Vodafone has gained over the month shows that viewers would still prefer humour over romance.

Despite of being age-old Airtel customer, Vodafone holds the edge for me this time on television..!!!!

"Hum 7 saath hain..."

Last week was filled with lot more activities than normally what we are occupied with. Our newly rented house had played the host for seven people including me and my wife. Mummy, papa, my sister and two of my cousins had visited Hyderabad for a week passed by and it was the first time after our marriage that we were hosting a big gathering. It was an amazing feeling all together.

I remember last time my parents had came to Hyderabad and all were bundled into a single small room. I had no cooking gas in house and can’t afford a house made meal for them. I bought a defective hot plate that brought me shame while cooking a Maggi. I know that parents are most flexible to stay with their children, but I could sense the displeasure while they left for Jaipur.

As the last week passed by, I could feel the sense of contentment that I could present my parents with better living style than before. Credit goes to my wife who was able to manage guests mostly without my help. We had already started the preparation for this occasion a month before. Everyday we used to load my bike with odd-shaped stuffs…we paid minute attention to every detail that could be sensed by any guest. We had experienced many things during this vacation…we tried sizzlers at the most famous restaurant “Indijoes”…tried biryani at “Paradise” , the most famous hotel for biryanis in Hyderabad…had done some pearl shopping (not on my account this time..!!)…went to “Eat Street” at Hussain Sagar Lake where we were sweating like anything …and most importantly chatted like never before.

Finally all of them left our place on Sunday leaving a vacuum in our ‘home’. All our efforts were finally converted to smiling faces…. atleast this 'kodak moment' says so..

Sabse bada rupaiyya

"BSP candidate Deepak Bhardwaj declares assets worth Rs 600cr"

*

The recent news in Times of India hadn’t shocked me with awe. Seems it was so obvious that such amount is bound to be possessed by ‘public servants’ of this nation..!!

Phew..!!! They are not talking about thousands or lakhs, it whooping 600 CRORES..!! If I count the personals who could/should or are expected to possess such huge pile of money, than I can name: Industrialists of good running companies, film makers and actors having good number of hit movies under the belt, prime positions holders in government like prime minister or president, few rare lucky chaps having won the miraculous lottery tickets and finally the thieves.

*

I don’t think these MLAs can be categorized in any of the personals mentioned above except the THIEVES. It amuses me that how a person can possess 600 crores in one lifetime. If a normal service man starts working at the age of 20 and gets 30% increment every 3 years (which is nearly impossible in any company and almost impossible in today’s recession hit economy..!!), even than he can not even come close to a crore in his entire lifetime. And this MLA being a ‘public servant’ possessed 600 crore in 75% of his lifetime. The best thing is that this is the amount he has declared to the election commissioner; the actual black money is still under wraps..!!!

*

I along with my wife have been setting our house for quite some time and everyday we are seen loaded with abnormal shaped items over my bike. When we try to consolidate the expenses we incurred during our shopping, it gives me a head roll and I could see some birds chirping and stars shining over my head..!!! I just pray that the current month end fast so that our monthly expenses are within our prescribed ‘heart-attack limits’. We had to bargain for almost everything, keep credit cards as far as possible, overlook BMWs and AUDIs parked nearby, resist going to home décor showrooms…any many more. And these MLA guys slapped us with his declaration. Why shouldn’t we take an easy route through forgeries and get the max out of this profession. Who care about the simpletons? Why should I overlook BMW, rather shouldn’t I possess one of them? I would get all luxuries I can ever dream about..BUT..think about someone who is writing such a blog about you. You might have lost the respect that you always long for in your life. I would prefer those birds and shining stars than sitting over pile of currency that you aren’t capable to possess.

*

Vote for someone who care about your pockets rather than spending time in filling their own…!!!

The 'Iron' in Me

"Why is that we are born so fragile that we end up being a flimsy piece of junk? I was not the same before. I was not brought up like the same before. I was not destined to be like same before. Then why was I made so brittle in the end…”

*

“I was as hard as rock when I was smacked with a heavy hammer. The ambience was smelting with heat emanating from blacksmith’s oven. He was scary and had a face covered with dense, grave moustache and his head covered with cloud of filthy hair. He seems to be like evil and had beaten me like anything. I was shattered with every blow that ripped apart my tough scalp.”

*

Every human being is born with a confidence to live a life full of ornamental trails and throbbing pathways as well. The sore experiences make the man taste the blood and take revenge against the unfavorable expected circumstances in future. I am talking about a piece of iron that is as hard as a human being, which is shattered with painful blows of incidents that had featured in its life. A life seems like an evil, covered with dense, grave moustache and his head covered with cloud of filthy hair.

*

“I wasn’t expecting him to surrender and offer me to the perilous fire that has been burning the oil beneath…But he did that. Fire was as intense as my beliefs were. It was hard like a solid and firm like a destiny. I resisted the fire and tried to breathe in the hell…But failed”

*

We are acustomed to face the pain that can be controlled in our limits and have a tendency to retain our comfort zone. But the actual real life is far from our expectations. More audicious we try to become, more are the obstructions created for us. These obstructions are cruel as fire and some call it one’s destiny. But there is a limit for the audacity, there is a limit for the patience. Beyond a certain point it is hard to resist the fire and eventually the metal like iron turns pliant.

*

“The pain is no more…I became immune to the thumps of hammer. I was shattered and was loosing my brittleness. I was gradually chiseled to form a sharp pointed weapon. I was waiting for the hammer that can make my edges sharp as a razor. I was growing. I was turned into a weapon from a mere junk. He poured me into the cold water and heat from my body released to air above water as fumes. I was turning grey. I was as hard as diamond. He turned to me..he winked and then smiled. He appreciated his job. I smiled him back. I thanked him for his job. I was ready to create my beginning.”

*

It is hard to believe that there are many things that are not under your control. Its frustating. People call it bad culture or intellectuals calls it a destiny. When you have reached the extreme, you will become immune to all the pains that you are suffering. They hardly matter to you anymore…

*

But this is not the end of the narration. In our life, we have faced so many sufferings that we pretend having reached the extreme. We become immune to any atrocities showered upon us. Its tragic and it feels like the end of the world. But this is not the end of the narration. Junk piece of iron will turn into sharp edged weapon. And the weapon need not care about the fire anymore. There is a mount at the end of the hope. The fire will bring the best out of you without which you will remain trash as before.

*

Many a times in my career and relationships I use to think, why is that I was born so fragile that I end up being a flimsy piece of junk? I was not the same before. I was not brought up like the same before. I was not destined to be like same before. Then why was I made so brittle in the end…and then I came to realize the piece of iron turning into a sharp weapon and this is exactly I am supposed to think. I am shattered and beaten but slowly carving into weapon.

*

I am waiting to create my beginning…!!!

Mumbai Meri Jaan

Well, I am not the best person to write something on Mumbai because I had spent not more than 3-4 months in this city. My first experience with this city was in 2002 when I came from Chandigarh to Mumbai to pursue my summer internship. Last week I had another chance to step in Mumbai and I could feel the same intensity in the city ‘that never sleep’.

It’s really true that this city hardly sleep. We were coming back from late night movie show in auto rickshaw and still could anticipate the crowded traffic jams on our route. The time was around 2 AM..!!! The city has grown over-crowded with people, automobiles, slums and pollution. A distance of 10kms can take hours to reach during office hours…number of auto rickshaws seem to be more than total private vehicles…you inhale more of pollutants than fresh air during jams. Sometimes I feel politicians were right in saying that this city has more number of ‘outsiders’ than it can accommodate. There was one sad situation while we were in auto and traveling over highway road…we saw the ambulance carrying a patient and it was continuously honking the siren to clear out the way within traffic jam. Not only the ambulance guys, the traffic owners were too feeling helpless and feeble that they couldn’t give the way either. The roads are perfect companion of vehicle’s mechanics. It seems that roads all over Mumbai are ripped apart for getting repaired at the same time. Right from the small street roads to big highway roads, they offer a tough time for vehicles plying over them and the credit are normally reaped by mechanics..!!!

Apart from all the negatives this city has its own flavor of people. People have aggression that makes them good at profession as well as towards life. People have developed stamina that can keep them charged up for longer time. The average daily routine of individuals are so planned that there is hardly any time to intrude into other wasteful thoughts. There was an interesting incident in Mumbai…while we were strolling a very crowded street in Mumbai called Alpha where we entered one of the busy general shop, we (I) found a beautiful girl wearing a mini skirt got out of auto rickshaw and entered the crowded shop where the situation was looking more like trading hall in BSE (people jostling their way out towards the counter and shouting at attendants to grab their view and get the items they are looking for). I asked my wife about the boldness these ladies can possess in Mumbai which is un-imaginable in other metropolitan cities (these ladies and their dresses can actually make main headlines of local newspapers in places like Delhi..!!). She told me the basic reason behind such situation is that the normal Mumbaikar is already occupied with so many complexities in his life that he hardly gets time to get attracted by other’s affairs. He has to travel a long distance, face the tragic traffic, attend the office, think about his family, make purchases for home etc, that he hardly care about what the lady standing adjacent to him is wearing. On other hand the fashion has become so common because of film industry that people are tired of gaping at others. On a positive note, I feel women can feel more secure and safe in Mumbai as compared to other cities.

We went to Marine Drive in the evening and this place is called the heart of Mumbai. The famous Necklace road was full with many strangers resting over the sea boundary. Parents were holding their children, enthusiasts were jogging with their i-pods, couples were mingling their heads, bachelors were frolicking with beggars, tired ones were laid on their back and some were looking at the half grown moon over the restless sea waves (and we were watching all these). Life seems so calm and in peace when you reach here.

Mumbai has all the ingredients that can capture every aspect of life…struggle, peace, love, sympathy, hatred, aggression, poverty, boldness, attitude etc. I don’t know my reply to the question if someone asks me that whether I would like to settle in Mumbai but certainly I would like to associate some more interaction with this city in future.

"Hell Down Under"

It was really awkward to hear so many beeps in between despite of the fact that I could understand the flavor of abuses exchanged among six handsome guys and gals standing along with their Karizma bikes. I am talking about ‘Roadies’, the famous reality adventure show that is being aired on MTV. I have been following this show since mid of 5th season and now it is in final few stages of 6th season in Australia.

I am not really fond of reality shows, so much so that I would write a blog on these. But there is something special about this show that I can’t resist my temptation to deify it. ‘Roadies’ is the show that is a adaption from popular reality show of AXN known as ‘Fear Factor’, or we can say it is the Indianized version of AXN’s one. ‘Roadies’ had started with the audition rounds that were worth watching. Many aspirants were interviewed (or I would say persecuted) by two bald gentlemen named Raghu and Rajiv (creators of this show). The candidates seem so traumatized on screen that reminds me of our ragging days in college. And now after seeing their reaction, we feel so entertained as if Raghu is taking revenge against our seniors on our behalf. I think these candidates should be given a prize for atleast attending these interviews.

Anyways, after interview rounds, we got to see some 20 odd people fighting for their survival in game show. They compete among themselves in different tasks and bitch against others through vote-outs. Some tasks are too exciting and funny that can send shivers down your spines. In one of the task the guys had to take a hit on their private parts…another one had a mud pit that host two small agile crocodiles and participants had to collect some reward chips that were scattered around the two beasts, and some of the chips were tied to crocodile’s tail…!!! Not even dangerous but these tasks were exciting to watch over television and these are certainly not meant for people with weak hearts. There was one episode that had left many guys ogle the screen with their limping tongue… for one of the task, the participants had to dive in a small swimming pool and create maximum splashes that can wet the white, skinny t-shirts worn by three sexy Australian models standing nearby, so much so that the alphabets printed over their tummy could be visible through their translucent garment…and then two participants had to unscramble these letters to make as much logical words as possible…!!! The whole concept was so thought off, that I couldn’t imagine comparing ’Roadies’ with ‘Fear Factor’. This is the height of creativity..!!! The show not only involves task performance but politics and bitching behind, during vote-outs. Sometimes your favorite one and most deserving candidate gets voted out and show takes a new turn.

Sometimes I imagine why this show has attracted so many viewers of different age groups. Apart from exciting tasks, unexpected vote-outs, glamour, fear and creativity involve in making the show, there is something in our mind that aspire us to see candidates struggling in the show. Talking about self, it takes hell lot of courage to sit beside the fiery crocodiles or hang over the river or fighting against two heavy weight WWE wrestlers. And it is this courage that attracts me to see these episodes again and again. Every individual has a dream to do something courageous, outstanding and against all fears and odds, and when he gets the chance to see someone performing on his lines, I guess it is natural for one to get charged up. My favorite participant in ‘Roadies’ is Sufi because even after being hurt in wrestling, he managed all his further tasks while on crutches. It is this spirit that can make a person stand against their personal comfort zone and be noticed in the crowd. How many of us can afford to do that in real life???? How many of us have the courage to quit the normal office job and work for a NGO…how many of us can challenge the government and ask them about their performance…how many of us can go to police station and complain about injustice if seen by you??? There are many ‘how-many’s that can reflect in negative responses and still we want to prosper in our life. It’s not like, to show courage you need to jump over a wall; the real courage is to get out of your comfort zone and start experimenting or else wait for the experiences that can tumble you down with shaken feet.

Southern expedition

One fine afternoon, as we were strolling through the beautiful lanes of Infy campus towards food court to have our lunch, I initiated a interesting topic to infuriate my colleague …'South Indians'. He is a Tamilian and had been in Chennai for quite some time. So I could find the true companion to answer my queries. I was always fascinated with different cultures and behavior that can be observed in different part of this nation. Although the points that we had pointed out were discussed in jocular manner, but the following content may hurt people who hails from South India. Anyways on a lighter note....

The food

I must admit, they have a great appetite when it comes to eating rice. Sometimes I fathom, if rice wasn’t grown at all in this country than entire southern generation would have wiped out. Almost everything in a meal has some imprints of rice like idli, plain rice, biryani, wada, dosa etc. During the lunch break, I could see people carrying a big 15cm diametric plate and stuffing it with all the rice at once making a huge pile till the crest. One of my team mate used to carry his lunchbox which had three compartments: first section consists of plain steamed rice, second one consists of curd rice and the last special one consists of colored rice (I couldn’t find it different from the first one in taste). Mostly the people use their hands to have their meal, mixing rice with curd, sambhar, special chutney etc. at one go. So a new special dish comes out of their creativity..!!! Believe me, it gives you great pleasure to eat rice with your hands but the worst part is to accompany those stained fingers to the wash basin while the sambhar still trickling down.

Movies

The south Indian movies are the great innovation of the Indian cinema. They have the due potential to beat Matrix or any of the James Bond’s flicks and the heroes are more than the idols who are worshipped by the fans here. Some of the names I could recall are Chiranjeevi, Balaya, JrNTR, Balakrishna etc etc…In these movies, the actors are the real heroes who can fight, dance, emote, laugh at the same time and in the same movie…!!! Even Keenu Reaves would have fainted to see hero on the motorcycle toggling the roof of trains or on the horse sliding beneath the lorry or lifting the tractor out of the field or cutting the bullet into two pieces etc etc…Apart from the action scenes, they could be found dancing with heroines with half the age as them. I don’t know what for these actresses are paid for in movies when 80% of the frame is occupied by the actor, 15% for the dance numbers and rest 5% in the rape scenes.

Festivals

South India is very famous for its temples, festivals and religion. No offence to mention, but these festivals and corresponding celebrations are limited to worship of God only. I once asked my colleague, how would he like to celebrate Diwali or Ugadi (which is comparatively more famous here) and the reply was that he would decorate the huge ‘puja ghar’, will call all relatives to the home and offer prayers. More auspicious occasion is for celebration, more is the intensity to offer prayers. Their sacred devotion is much more prevalent than pump-and-show that is famous in North Indian celebrations. If these guys are invited to attend Diwali in Delhi, than I fear they would go blank after seeing so much of lights and hearing the clamor of crackers…!!!

Nature and behavior

By nature, south Indians are simple, down-to-earth and intelligent. It’s a known fact that the secondary board examinations are best in South India and you could easily perceive the fact that maximum percentage of Indians found in US belongs to this region. When I was boarding my aircraft to Amsterdam, I could see 85% south Indians sitting and chatting with air hostesses in their typical English accent. Infact the south Indian languages seem so indifferent to me that I couldn’t recognize them by hearing to their pronunciation. Once an autorickshaw driver made perfect use of this language when I was travelling in Bangalore. After my trip in the auto, while bargaining for the fare, all of a sudden, he had forgot all the Hindi dialogues he remembered and resorted to Kannada to fool me that he doesn’t knew a word of Hindi (though he was speaking fluent Hindi with his friend on cell phone...!).

Its not that the other parts of the country are devoid of such observations, but all they seems to be peculiar to me during my 2.5 years of stay in south India. North Indians have their own language, festival, ways of celebrations, food habits and nature similar to as South Indians have. I am sure foreign guests would have hard time to understand the entire gamut of culture we have.

Crawling ants

“…we were crawling with limp legs over him with a caution. A drop of sweat slide from the scalp of his deceased head and made it's way through rear of the left ear, finally tickled over the bare shoulder and got absorbed in smoldered body. He was such familiar with the pain we were offering him that he had no expressions left for us and let us astonished at him. The ambience was damp with the sweat of burned, exposed bodies and air was filled with stench of foul breath. His garment was tattered with several claws clinging to get every piece of it. His skin had turned hard and brown with dust wrapping the superficial skin. He was gripped with brown, thick clutches that were shedding their rust over his stiff, dry hands. Their imprints could be felt over his pulses. He was sitting at one corner of the wooden encroachment and looking up at the three holes that were dig for the air to get inhaled into the vacuity. The warm rays of sun were intruding from these holes and were resting over his right fist making it brighter than the other one. He raised the other hand and with aching efforts, tried to close the left fist with the streak of sun ray within. The rays pour over the mesh formed by his clutched fingers and then a drop of tear emerged from his eye. He raised his face towards the three holes with moist eyes and anger flow inside the veins running through the ripples formed over his forehead….”

“For the past one year, I had been crawling over him over the same place and biting him at the same spot. Initially he used to howl at me while cursing his destiny, but all in vain. His pain had slowly transformed into numbness and then he started smirking at me with a grin. I know that finally he will let the sun rays fall over his feet and he will rest his head over his fists and will die wailing for lid to get open for the last time, but why should I care…!! Let me take pleasure in his pain.”

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Well don’t pain your brain over this short imagination..!! This is a superficial imagination about a man trapped inside an enclosure for the past one year. Since then he had been watching the rays coming out of three holes dig on the roof lid. He had a wish to take control over the impossible by clutching the rays in his fists, and as expected he failed miserably everytime. At that moment he realized that he is under regulations and is not allowed to go against the nature. It is the time when he started feeling the pain bestowed by the crawling ants. Just like him all of us are living in a closed environment wherein we experience pain and pleasure at the same time. Sometimes you feel like getting out of the solid clutches and dart out of the closure by smashing on the roof lid. But the clutches won’t allow you to raise your potential and finally you see rays of hope. You try to hold these and go against the customs, but in vain, and then you realize the pain within you. In short, you get to realize your limitations when you attempt to go against the obvious.

But the real courage is to hold the rays in your hands and smile at the crawling ants…!!!

Alone in the office

The time is around 4 PM and I have already messaged her many times. I was browsing through the pages, but still the thoughts like…has she taken her lunch…has maid servant done her job perfectly…has someone knocked the door…is she sleeping comfortably or not…etc were strolling through my mind. This is not the first time I was thinking about someone left at home behind. In 2007, my parents visited my house and I had to join office on Monday. The situation is same today. Instead of my parents, my wife was staying at home. Right from entering the Infosys campus, the phone had started ringing and enquiring about how the things are there in home. As I swiped in my proximity card for recording attendance for the day, I had anticipated the time when I would safely leave the office and go to home.

Believe me, it’s a blissful feeling to have someone waiting for you in home after you come back from your office.

It has been ages for me living alone and so thinking about being responsible to leave someone at home was an all-together different feeling. This is the imminent transformation in me after getting married few weeks ago. I used to eat and roam randomly but now the situation is more demanding. I have to pre-plan our meals, make arrangements for that and ensure everything is in place etc. Also, think about better place to visit for couples, regulate the time for outings, and finally drive safely. I hadn’t visited the temple in Hyderabad since last 1.5 years, but today my marriage made me visit 3 temples in just one day.

As I was writing this blog in office and looking at the engagement ring on my finger, I thought that these changes are bound to happen for good. These are the good transformations that will make you more sensible, caring and responsible in future life. It’s more than just marrying someone and retaining your rustic beliefs. You have to change and surely you will, to be her “better half”.

A must watch...

"Munni meri behen munni, munni meri behen munni, to tu mar gyee? Lambu ne tujhe lamba kar diya? Maachis ki tilli ko khamba kar diya?".

“There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who have seen 'Gunda'. And those who shall see it.” -- Roger Abhert

It is pleasure to have the opportunity to get into first kind of people after watching the highly commendable movie “GUNDA”. It’s a cult movie and you would be surprised to know that movie with such incongruous title is on IMDB at rating 8.4. IMDB is renowned website for Indian and international movies. That means it is uniformly accepted as a masterpiece and also I guess it holds the world record for being screened in almost all men’s hostels in India..!!! Each and every dialogue of this movie is work of genius in itself.

Let me take the pleasure to introduce the characters of this famed movie along with some of their punch lines (Just to mention that these lines may be offensive and to a extent indecent, so ladies and kids are advised to keep their eyes shut for one paragraph please): -

1) Bulla. "Mera naam hain Bulla, rakhta hoon main khullaaaaaa"

2) Chutiya. Bulla’s hermaphrodite brother

3) Lambu Atta

4) Pote. “jo aapne baap ki bhi naheen hote”

5) Ibu Hatela. “Mera naam Ibu Hatela, Ma meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitan ka chela, khayega kela?”

6) Inspector Kale

7) “kafan chor neta”

8) Bacchu Bagona and our own

9) Shankar, played by Mithun Da

Apart from these, Mithun Da has one sister and one girlfriend. Since they don’t have their introductory signature so they aren’t worth mention here. As you can observe, each and every character is able to raise an air of suspicion and curiosity inside you that you can’t resist to not seeing this movie. I had known about this movie since my engineering days and my days at IIT. The film offers distinct lingoes that people were often seen conversing in same fashion. The cinematography is superbly done with just one camera (must have been produced in recession hit period). All characters in movie are made to deliver their share of dialogue in front of the only camera and exactly no movement can be seen. To mention about the dialogues, as you have read in the title, it seems every character was paid peanuts to write their own dialogue in a minute and deliver it in a way as they wish. The movie present all sort of ‘gunda’s present at that time and the one and only messiah, Mithun Da who come for the rescue. He possessed an over weight girl friend who always tries to wooh him with ridiculous songs and her plump body, clutched with ill-fitted flashy dresses. Apart from her, he also has even fatter sister, and over-acting father, and a monkey who can understand his language.

There are many fascinating scenes and situations in this movie that can make you grip the edge of seat and wouldn’t leave you without watching the whole…Mithun as ‘coolie’ found on airport tarmac…rape scenes of ladies and then their murder, but without even removing their clothes…songs that have no remote relation with a scene before and after that…the dresses of the actors that can compete against all colors of the rainbow (even their shades too..!!)…all the characters in the movie are dead in the end but our Mithun Da still conquer the screen…and many more.

Out of many movies I am the big fan of comedy movie “Andaz Apna Apna” and now I think I need to update my data base with this cult one. This movie is best suited to be seen during honeymoon nights. The movie is one of the finest comedies ever made that can make you laugh for the whole night and keep you awake…!!!

Sienna village…Munnar

The hill roads had gruesome and sharp turns that can send shivers down the spine. The breadth of the road could accommodate not more than two bikes at same time, and our driver was so adept at driving on such scales that we were cruising at a speed of 80 kmph.
After a long wait during our travel, we finally reached to the top of the hill where our resort was situated.

Sienna village is a privately owned resort in Munnar and present exotic duplex cottages with a wide panoramic view of the scenery. The sitting room had a television and a sofa set where you can relieve yourself and relax around. The bedroom had a small balcony that open towards the hill side and a dam in front of us. We had a candle light dinner where we could feel the presence of other newly-wed couples around. Apart from Indians, there were many foreigners around in the restaurant trying their hands at eating ‘idli’s with fork and knife..!!!

The serene ambience was complimented with slight cold breeze of air. The rooms were warm and it was perfect occasion to sip a cup of tea while seating in the relaxing chair in the balcony. This place is famous for tea gardens (those are majorly owned by TATA Tea Ltd) and condiments. As you stroll over the walkways, you could smell the mixed fragrance of different types of condiments. We had few pictures of tea gardens and I must admit that these gardens are amazing. They seem to be like a painting beautifully carved with natural shades of colors. The plantations were aligned perfectly by the gardener or else by the nature.
Then we went to flower nursery where couples were seen clicking their best pose in front of camera with beautiful flowers in background. We found it little boring, infact artificial. Then we moved on to visit dams where you can enjoy the boat rides and road shopping. Munnar is also famous for home-made chocolates and sure we had our share too..!!!

We could find a lovely cuisine over the local shop for which were longing for so much of time…bachelor’s own favorite “Maggi”. We stuffed ourselves with 2 plates of maggi over the lunch and still wishing for more..!! After more sight-seeing we decided to shop for some condiments and chocolates for our dear ones to satisfy their raised hope against us.

Munnar is a small hill station and has always been an attraction for foreign tourists. The people are so humble and cooperative that you can’t resist thanking them for their courtesy. It was the time to return back to Hyderabad with lots of memories in our hearts (and camera of course..!!).

God’s own country

It was pitch dark in the night and the roads were too narrow to allow two cars to pass through without any hiccups. The humid air was breezing through the windows of the cars, carrying the aroma of raw spices. Old romantic songs of 90’s were complimenting the journey and she was sleeping with her head resting on my shoulders.

Kerala is known as ‘God’s own country’ and we were heading towards KTDC resorts in Kumarkom. The resort is situated on the banks of Vembanad Lake and possesses a beautiful bird sanctuary in the widespread area owned by the resort. The place is famous for back water lakes which are as calm as silence. The resort has many canals and the individual cottages were situated over canals.

We were stunned with the beauty of the resort and the comfort it offered when we entered our room. The room was adorned with a king size bed and lazy environment with dim lights and mild air condition. We woke up next morning with a mild breeze of air assorted with the warm rays of rising sun. Standing over the balcony, we found ourself surrounded with amusing and natural plantation. The lucid water was flowing in the canals creating the ripples along the edges. Rare species of birds could be seen sitting over the trees. The ambience was totally relaxed and silence prevailed over the speech. We had a good and heavy breakfast and resolute that we won’t leave this place without getting an ayurvedic massage. Kerala is famous for its herbs and body massage done while using them. Many therapies were introduced to us, but we decided to take a safer route and asked for basic body massage from the menu. I could feel the anxieties entrenched in my body being released to the vacuity as the masseur spread the warm oil over the body and liberate the extra oil to the wooden bed. As we move out of the room, we sensed a different world all-together. After that we took a record minimum of 6 baths to drain out the oil still left over our body..!!!

The evening offered us a pleasant view of the Vembanad Lake where the sun was setting at its slow pace. The house boats were sailing over the perfect backdrop of setting sun and birds were chirping while returning to their nests. I had a glass of beer over the hammock and then we had nice dinner. While walking over the narrow pathways towards our room, we could sense the buzzing of insects, tree leaves fluttering in a calm territory and could see the faint shades of light over the cottage’s windows and kids enjoying the hammocks.

Next day we took a ride over lake on a speed boat. It was 7 AM in the morning and we were excited to inhale the natural breeze of fresh air. One can easily spot the elation on the face of Divya. The early birds were looking at us with suspicion. After that, we went to a bird sanctuary where you could see different types of migratory birds. Unfortunately the best season to view them is in summers, so we walked over the sanctuary without any expectations. We had a heavy breakfast and now it was the time to pack our bags for our next destination, Munnar. I couldn’t hold the feelings of not leaving this place and finally was supplemented with lots of memories in form of photographs and video clips.

As I was going through these pictures, I could appreciate the efforts spent on preserving this natural beauty in God’s own country named Kerala…

Behind the 'sehra'

The cameras were flashing high on the face with numerous mobile phone cameras clicking to get the best and biggest shot of the man behind the ‘sehra’…Numerous hands were jostling to get the streaks of grey colored hair into the ‘saafa’ (turban) so that the sister can smear the forehead with a ‘teeka’…Ladies (man’s bhabhi) were giggling their way out to apply ‘kajal’ on his eye lids... Camera men were requesting everyone who comes in their photographic frame...100s of relatives and well-wishers were sitting along side the wall and were smiling at the new found ‘centre-of-attraction’…The ladies were whispering in their husband’s ears to let loose some cash for blessing the man…The room was embellished with blistering flash lights and the humid ambiance was filled with mixed fragrance of flowers and different brands of perfumes…

I got married on 31st January this year and this day is considered auspicious for “Basant Panchmi”. The wedding went off very smoothly and I must say that 10 hours of the occasion gave me enough memories to pen down for the blog. This is strange but true that in this revolutionary age too, the customs are still the same. They might have been modified but still you can’t expect the relief from these. I am strong enough to admit that sitting on a mare or marriage sofa or cushions during ‘phera’s is still the painful and audacious activity as used to be in past. The list is endless and I’ll try my best to not to forget any one of these in the following paragraphs.

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Those 10 hours…

‘Sehra’ is a string of little flowers that is tied over the turban (‘Saafa’) to cover the groom’s face during the whole marriage (atleast till he reaches the bride’s place). It gave me feeling that my face holds a special value and is not available for public display..!!! My first test: - the ‘sehra’ was so thick and heavy that I could barely see anyone in front of me. I was guided to the gate by numerous hands holding and the flash-lights of camera men. The flowers in the ‘sehra’ included very fine, irritating silver streaks that were intruding my nose and mouth as I breathe. So you can imagine two tests at the same time, first, walking to the door without using your eyes and second, to inhale much required oxygen to survive till the end of the function. As I had reached the gate, a beautiful adorned mare was waiting for me patiently. There were some rituals to be performed by my mother and after that I was invited for second test. This test was as furious as money tasks in Roadies (MTV popular reality show similar on the lines of AXN’s “Fear Factor”). I was supposed to climb up the mare taking care of my turban, ‘sehra’, the complete dress and of course, media. The mare was good in height and I could feel her smiling at my trepidations. I don’t know how I carried myself over the mare in just 2 attempts. “The guests must have been smiling at me at my 1st attempt, but who care for them; I have a ‘sehra’ to save me from their mocking faces.” After some ceremonies at the nearby temple we (my sister, mother, cousin and a friend) were stuffed in Maruti Zen. We were supposed to reach an assembly point from where we will form a ‘baraat’ and reach bride’s place. This was most awful trip of my life. A small little Zen was filled with 5 healthy people and sharing the same amount of air for breathing. On top of that I was stuffed with tightly packed turban, wicked ‘sehra’, heavy attire etc. One thing I forgot to mention that, to add to my misery I was suffering from body weakness due to the high fever that I had few days ago. So these conditions were quite satisfactory to be called as another ‘test’.

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The ‘Baraat’…

It feels so vulnerable to see the people dancing to the beats of band-walas while you struggle to breath behind the ‘sehra’. They must be really very happy for 2 reasons: - (1) Its my marriage and (2) they are not sitting on the mare. The traffic on the road felt the discomfort which can be felt by continuous honking of cars, people smiling at the comical ‘baraati’ dance, foreigners taking the snaps to understand the Indian culture (next Monsoon Wedding in making...!), some guests staring at me to verify whether they have joined the right ‘baraat’ or not. The crowd was divided into many factions, some dancing genuinely to the tunes of band, some dancing vigorously on the beats of ‘dhol’ and in middle of them ladies dancing randomly to mixed tunes. Apart from these, I could see some children juggling between the groups and dancing fanatically irrespective of any music (or no music...!) that was playing (that’s the spirit of childhood). All the professional dancers become amateur in 'baraat'..!! Anyways, finally we reached the entrance of marriage lawn where I could see huge crowd of guests waiting anxiously for us. All were trying to grab a chance to have glance at my looks (behind the ‘sehra’ of course). I was helped by many hands to descend the mare and walk towards the podium. The next few moments were comfortable for me. After some brief ceremonies, I saw Divya, my wife, walking down the red carpet, holding a big garland in her hands, staring downwards and taking smallest steps as possible. Someone said it right; girls’ look poles apart than the usual self when holding the wedding garland. We exchanged the garlands and were greeted with huge applause from the audience. As we sat down after this ‘mega’ event, the guests followed us with the greetings and blessings. Along with that they had picture-poses especially made for the camera men and video men. Seems like they do not want to miss the opportunity to mark their presence with a valid proof…!!! This was followed by brief dinner where formalities ultimately lead to starvation. How can one expect to eat a big ‘gulab-jamun’ before the meal, in presence of big audience with their mouth wide open?

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7 ‘phera’s and the ‘vidaayi’...

The ‘phera’s are known to be the final ceremony without which the marriage stands incomplete. These are the 7 wishes of Lord Parvati which she had offered to Lord Shiva and on the basis of his accepting them, she would marry him. In return of these 7 wishes he also had the liberty to wish one. Now we know why the husbands are considered as vulnerable (we are not even God..!!!). The ceremony culminated with emotional ‘vidaayi’ and finally we came back home at around 5-6 AM. It was unbelievable that such a big and auspicious occasion went well so smoothly that we could hardly realize that. Every arrangement seems perfect and pre-mediated and that’s-why the efforts are commendable. In less than 12 hours my status had changed and I had been bestowed with a new responsibility for my life. I may not have understood each and every ritual that I had seen from behind the ‘sehra’, only I could feel the transformation inside me at every moment.

Today, as I was recollecting the thoughts about the occasion, I couldn’t resist smiling at those moments that were troublesome, funny, unavoidable, interesting and emotional. Hats off to Indian marriage…

Last day in my office as a bachelor

Today is Friday, 23rd of January…the date deserve a mention because this is my last day in office as a bachelor. When I will return back to my cubicle after 3 weeks, things wouldn’t be the same. The people around me may be same but the expressions on their faces, after they see me, wouldn’t be the same.

Much before the present, I had been reminded about the D-day by all sorts of people (friends, relatives, colleagues, known and some unknowns too...!) apart from my dear wife. Usually this is accompanied with a taunting smile that reflects the message that, "get over with your fun days and start preparing to face your bounded destiny". Some people even tease with a consoling way like, "So finally the day is arrived…'try' to enjoy it to the maximum, and be a better husband in future". It shows the experience (mostly sad) that these guys must have got through their marriages.

As I reached the office on time and started with my daily chores, my brain was already pre-occupied with making check-list of what needs to be done today… what all things need to be packed…when to leave the office for airport…what should not be left behind…etc. But apart from this, today (actually many days) I feel like being surrounded with air of insecurity. Seems like many questions and queries are flooding my mind in a haphazard way. I know that the next seven days would not leave me introspect about these and finally I would be able to sail through the D-day without even realizing about the same, but still it’s very strange. I hope this is very normal with ‘To-Be-Married-in-a-week’ kind of people. This realization of changing my phase of life from a mere bachelor to married man sends turbulence to my stomach.

A subdued customary guy working 9.15 hours a day in office, often thinking every second how to utilize myself with any work for the day…satisfying his appetite by cooking snacks-cum-food and finding good taste in the weekly experiments with the resources available in kitchen…spending most of the time with his only acquaintances i.e. books, novels and sometime television…roaming in the streets or malls with his backpack filled with bike registration papers, a mp3 player and a goggle and shopping very specifically according to the needs…working really very hard to flex his muscles, try to deflate his anomalous tummy by exercising day and night and by the end of the day cursing his limited stamina…drinking a full bottle of Kingfisher beer along with a packet of ‘Kurkure’, singing a song from movie ‘Zinda’ in a dismal tone, limping on the floor intentionally to get ‘a feel’, cooking all-time favorite bachelor cuisine ‘Maggi’ at midnight and counting stars near the fan on the roof after the light is switched off…staring the cell phone screen and expecting the calls from close ones or recruitment agencies…passing through a wine shop, remembering the days of happiness and sorrows spend with very close friends (liquor is genius, I must admit..!!) …sitting lonely on a tattered bench kept in the jogging park, sipping a pricey juice and watching the couples holding their hands and making full use of the isolated park, some college students impressing their uninteresting girl friends, elderly people seriously walking in the park for which it is actually made for, some ill-shaped ladies sweating their way and trying to shed their extra pounds in just one day, some businessmen talking loudly over their earphones while jogging…

Every day seems to be well scheduled in advance and the events flow automatically like a flow chart. I really feel pity for my wife; if she had seen this blog earlier, she wouldn’t have dared to marry me (coupled with dull well-programmed life) at first instance…!!

Few weeks from now, everything is going to be revamped. The situations may be the same but the behavior will be different all-together. The issue is not that these things were good or bad or something that should be avoided in future, instead the concern is how will I react to these situations after I get married…will I miss them or feel happy that I have other important priorities than these. This is really interesting to think but the advice is not to spend the brain power for this. I wouldn’t say that loneliness is the best part of my life, but certainly I would be missing it but for my better future. Now I came to know why people say about this phase as difficult to pass. Normally we guys tend to form a circle of privacy around us and are used to get emotionally attached to this forever and thus we feel uncomfortable when intruded by someone else. I can understand that this feeling is much more serious and prominent in girls (but unfortunately this blog is supposed to be biased towards men).

It’s good that I have enough memories of my past that could be cherished after I step in another phase of my life. How will I handle that, the question can be remained unscathed for now. Not only this, I have many more concerns as the day approaches near, but couldn’t reflect each one of them in words now. I will try to find the answers sometime in future…

Obama-mania

“History will remember you not by what you had destroyed but by what you had built”

“We are a nation of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus and non believers”

“Those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent — know that you are on the wrong side of history”

These were some of the quotes from the legend named 'Barack Hussain Obama'. This is the first time I could recognize his middle name (I hope it would help me improve my GK for further use). Obama is 44th president of USA and his swearing ceremony could be called as a great extravaganza. Never in the history of World (as far as I know) had seen such a huge gathering (nearly 2 million people) in front of 'The Capitol' where Obama took an oath by firmly placing his left hand on 'Lincoln Bible', along with her wife who was holding the Bible and smiling with pride.

We have heard many swearing ceremonies before that are held with bunch of politicians, diplomats and press people standing in front of the podium, but this ceremony was totally different. Apart from the difficulties that state authorities had faced to control the mob and sterilize the whole event from any misfortune, I feel, it takes a hell lot of courage to stand in front of 2 million people and promise them to fulfill their expectations. It feels great to see that 2 million people (including black and whites) dared to stand the chilly weather and thanked the almighty for Obama’s selection. Atleast 2 million people are united and standing for a common cause of their country’s prosperity.

At the age of 46, he looks very agile, calm and determined. Now compare this with our politicians, who represent the public just before finally descending to earth. How can we expect the courage, agility and boldness from these guys that are essential to run a big populous country? I don’t remember, when was the last time I was glued to the television to find out how our politician took a brave oath and occupy an auspicious place in the Indian government.

I would give full credit to the spirit of Americans and the political system of the country. It truly rocks..!!!

Jab We Met

…as I was standing in front of the dressing mirror and adjusting my trousers to look superior and formal, my sister intruded my lone privacy with the mirror and started untangling her hair. Of course she knew that the situation actually demanded me to look smarter than her, but still, who can question the ladies while ‘dressing’. As it had been proved that gentlemen normally take 1/3 rd of the time to dress as compared to ladies, but still ironically they (men) are cursed before anyone else are. At around peak afternoon, all of us (me, mom, dad, sister and tauji) were looking smart and were ready to struggle to fit into our small and cute Maruti Zen (believe me, once you get into this car you wouldn’t regret struggling for it). As dad was driving the car to our destination and passing by many vehicles and pedestrians on road, I was trying to occupy myself with thoughts other than what I should be thinking of. "how the bicycle is crossing the lane"… "why the bus-wala is standing in the middle of the road"…"it’s the hottest day of my life"…etc. The environment inside the car was quite and contemplative. I am sure everyone must be thinking about the next 1-2 hours that we were going to spend with new unknown people. "What are we going to talk"…"how we would do the talking"…"what all things should we look for"…"what sort of things should we clarify at the moment"…etc. Not talking about others, but I was nervous…!!!

As we reached our destination, we took off from our car and everyone started giving final touches to the makeup we all had done. The gatekeeper at the entrance greeted us with smile hidden behind his dense, cloudy moustache. Inside the hall, the reception was deserted with very few people. This is the normal scene in hot place like Jaipur where active working hours are less than the rest time. In the middle of the hall we were welcomed by a broad shouldered man along with a person who was thin but good in height. I had no knowledge about any one of them, but one thing was sure that atleast one of them holds a special respect from me. We were shown the way to the dining hall where we could see two big sofas and 5 different chairs with two serving tables separating them. I positioned myself comfortably between dad and tauji on one side and sister and mom on the other side. The best relief for me was the mirror that was mounted on the pillar right in front of me. Atleast I had the chance to escape other’s view by looking at the mirror and asking the question, "Am I looking good"…or "am I still looking good". Thank GOD for that. After few minutes later three more people enter the hall and all eyes darted on to one lady who was leading the team of three. She was……

Did I forget to mention that the situation described above happened in Jaipur in the month of June? The lady that I had mentioned above is my ‘wife’, Divya and the occasion described above is the one when we had first met along with our parents. I still remember that day when I had felt like totally unexpressive, immature and nervous. Traditionally men are supposed to take charge of these kinds of situations but hell with these theories.

Anyways, coming back to her team, ironically she looked like leading the team of three (her brother along with her mother and herself) because she was looking tall (unlike the height mentioned in her ‘bio-data’- technical name of ‘resume’ in matrimonial terms. And I think the high heels footwear had really helped her). Her mother was very calm, quite and formal as she greeted us with a smile almost as similar as Divya’s (please excuse me for associating every good thing to my wife...!). Her brother looked like an IITian who had been stressed out with last-minute examinations. Later, I found out that he was no where related to engineering, forget about IIT (lucky champ). But just like true brother, he was quick on his toes to arrange everything for this event. Then we were served the drinks ("soft drinks for me, please". I was supposed to be a ‘nice’ boy). As we gulped our drinks, I couldn’t resist looking at the beer mugs filled with ultimate divine liquid, adorning the hands holding them. These hands were that of the three lucky gentlemen present in our group. Before I could clear my throat and reply something to someone, she was charged up the energy that had left me gaped. She was interacting with his brother more than her guests and I couldn’t help smiling at her. My mother asked her some very obvious questions and she replied back in almost jocular way (direct talk between probable ‘saas’ and probable ‘bahu’ was very rare even at that time too..!). After some time, we were allowed to have a ‘free casual chat’ (my sister and her brother were still involved in this ‘free casual chat’) in their personal room upstairs. We started talking like we were very old, forgotten friends meeting after long time and had no common agenda for the talks. We talked like we already knew each other and this meeting was just a formality. After some minutes we were left alone to discuss some serious ‘issue’ that could trouble us. Actually we had discussed all those issues that could hamper our future life instead of those things that could benefit our lives. This is very natural but true. In short span of time, we couldn’t share the good things and neglect discussing all the risks that could come in our future age. This is called ‘defensive’ approach and is very common. During the sensible conversation I had innumerable thoughts running down in my mind…"does she looked good in this dress"…"is her way of talking appropriate in my family"…"does she normally wear such high heels"…"is she formal enough or pretending to be one"…"is she talking like extreme professional and career oriented"…"could she really understand my complex maze in just few minutes"…"should I compare her with my previous experiences with ladies"…"could I do enough justice to her by fulfilling her dreams"…"how could she be so down-to-earth while working in MNC like Citigroup and living in metropolitan city Mumbai"…"will mom approve her of her charming behavior"…"God..! I had missed that beer in the dining hall"…"will she be able to sail through my already troubled life" etc.

As I said ‘short span of time’, I really meant that. After few minutes, we were called back for the lunch…that means the public appearance, again. We left our discussions (issues) on hold and went for satisfy our appetite. I was feeling like joker sitting there and having food when most of the things were still to be discussed. Anyways, the ‘dal’ was good and ‘paneer’ could be classified as average. And that was the first moment when I ate less than my appetite like a professional dietician. Two big ‘naan’s and no instantaneous burping, hard to resist but I had to maintain my dignity at that moment. During the talks, I was still thanking GOD for the mirror placed in front of me that reminded me of same questions as I had mentioned above. Also it had helped me a lot escaping other’s glances at me when I had nothing to speak or comment about. Infact it looked like cursing me for wasting my time at it foolishly and not talking to Divya.

After few more talks and chats we decided to take a leave. The idea gave me enough fresh air to breathe and time to introspect and contemplate about her. As we gradually walked towards the car we shook hands in belief that we may meet again. We again struggled to fit in Zen (this time it was difficult after the lunch) and drove back home. The air in the car was the same as before and thoughts prevailed like the same. The only difference was that all of us had common topic in our mind to think upon.

This was my first and by the grace of GOD, the last formal meeting with a girl who was unknown to me. Few days from now, she is going to get into new phase of life popularly known as ‘Marriage’. And I feel lucky to have such a nice experience that made me to write a blog before ‘our’ marriage.