Behind the 'sehra'

The cameras were flashing high on the face with numerous mobile phone cameras clicking to get the best and biggest shot of the man behind the ‘sehra’…Numerous hands were jostling to get the streaks of grey colored hair into the ‘saafa’ (turban) so that the sister can smear the forehead with a ‘teeka’…Ladies (man’s bhabhi) were giggling their way out to apply ‘kajal’ on his eye lids... Camera men were requesting everyone who comes in their photographic frame...100s of relatives and well-wishers were sitting along side the wall and were smiling at the new found ‘centre-of-attraction’…The ladies were whispering in their husband’s ears to let loose some cash for blessing the man…The room was embellished with blistering flash lights and the humid ambiance was filled with mixed fragrance of flowers and different brands of perfumes…

I got married on 31st January this year and this day is considered auspicious for “Basant Panchmi”. The wedding went off very smoothly and I must say that 10 hours of the occasion gave me enough memories to pen down for the blog. This is strange but true that in this revolutionary age too, the customs are still the same. They might have been modified but still you can’t expect the relief from these. I am strong enough to admit that sitting on a mare or marriage sofa or cushions during ‘phera’s is still the painful and audacious activity as used to be in past. The list is endless and I’ll try my best to not to forget any one of these in the following paragraphs.

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Those 10 hours…

‘Sehra’ is a string of little flowers that is tied over the turban (‘Saafa’) to cover the groom’s face during the whole marriage (atleast till he reaches the bride’s place). It gave me feeling that my face holds a special value and is not available for public display..!!! My first test: - the ‘sehra’ was so thick and heavy that I could barely see anyone in front of me. I was guided to the gate by numerous hands holding and the flash-lights of camera men. The flowers in the ‘sehra’ included very fine, irritating silver streaks that were intruding my nose and mouth as I breathe. So you can imagine two tests at the same time, first, walking to the door without using your eyes and second, to inhale much required oxygen to survive till the end of the function. As I had reached the gate, a beautiful adorned mare was waiting for me patiently. There were some rituals to be performed by my mother and after that I was invited for second test. This test was as furious as money tasks in Roadies (MTV popular reality show similar on the lines of AXN’s “Fear Factor”). I was supposed to climb up the mare taking care of my turban, ‘sehra’, the complete dress and of course, media. The mare was good in height and I could feel her smiling at my trepidations. I don’t know how I carried myself over the mare in just 2 attempts. “The guests must have been smiling at me at my 1st attempt, but who care for them; I have a ‘sehra’ to save me from their mocking faces.” After some ceremonies at the nearby temple we (my sister, mother, cousin and a friend) were stuffed in Maruti Zen. We were supposed to reach an assembly point from where we will form a ‘baraat’ and reach bride’s place. This was most awful trip of my life. A small little Zen was filled with 5 healthy people and sharing the same amount of air for breathing. On top of that I was stuffed with tightly packed turban, wicked ‘sehra’, heavy attire etc. One thing I forgot to mention that, to add to my misery I was suffering from body weakness due to the high fever that I had few days ago. So these conditions were quite satisfactory to be called as another ‘test’.

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The ‘Baraat’…

It feels so vulnerable to see the people dancing to the beats of band-walas while you struggle to breath behind the ‘sehra’. They must be really very happy for 2 reasons: - (1) Its my marriage and (2) they are not sitting on the mare. The traffic on the road felt the discomfort which can be felt by continuous honking of cars, people smiling at the comical ‘baraati’ dance, foreigners taking the snaps to understand the Indian culture (next Monsoon Wedding in making...!), some guests staring at me to verify whether they have joined the right ‘baraat’ or not. The crowd was divided into many factions, some dancing genuinely to the tunes of band, some dancing vigorously on the beats of ‘dhol’ and in middle of them ladies dancing randomly to mixed tunes. Apart from these, I could see some children juggling between the groups and dancing fanatically irrespective of any music (or no music...!) that was playing (that’s the spirit of childhood). All the professional dancers become amateur in 'baraat'..!! Anyways, finally we reached the entrance of marriage lawn where I could see huge crowd of guests waiting anxiously for us. All were trying to grab a chance to have glance at my looks (behind the ‘sehra’ of course). I was helped by many hands to descend the mare and walk towards the podium. The next few moments were comfortable for me. After some brief ceremonies, I saw Divya, my wife, walking down the red carpet, holding a big garland in her hands, staring downwards and taking smallest steps as possible. Someone said it right; girls’ look poles apart than the usual self when holding the wedding garland. We exchanged the garlands and were greeted with huge applause from the audience. As we sat down after this ‘mega’ event, the guests followed us with the greetings and blessings. Along with that they had picture-poses especially made for the camera men and video men. Seems like they do not want to miss the opportunity to mark their presence with a valid proof…!!! This was followed by brief dinner where formalities ultimately lead to starvation. How can one expect to eat a big ‘gulab-jamun’ before the meal, in presence of big audience with their mouth wide open?

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7 ‘phera’s and the ‘vidaayi’...

The ‘phera’s are known to be the final ceremony without which the marriage stands incomplete. These are the 7 wishes of Lord Parvati which she had offered to Lord Shiva and on the basis of his accepting them, she would marry him. In return of these 7 wishes he also had the liberty to wish one. Now we know why the husbands are considered as vulnerable (we are not even God..!!!). The ceremony culminated with emotional ‘vidaayi’ and finally we came back home at around 5-6 AM. It was unbelievable that such a big and auspicious occasion went well so smoothly that we could hardly realize that. Every arrangement seems perfect and pre-mediated and that’s-why the efforts are commendable. In less than 12 hours my status had changed and I had been bestowed with a new responsibility for my life. I may not have understood each and every ritual that I had seen from behind the ‘sehra’, only I could feel the transformation inside me at every moment.

Today, as I was recollecting the thoughts about the occasion, I couldn’t resist smiling at those moments that were troublesome, funny, unavoidable, interesting and emotional. Hats off to Indian marriage…