Last Few Months..

“These roads are dark as always. But you may find some rays ahead”, the stranger replied me, smirking with his dry face. I had no choice to think and so I chose to move ahead. I was wearing a well-polished suit with fine ornaments. The roads ahead were sprinkled with clear water that offered a perfect mirage to the travellers. Few steps ahead I stopped again to see if my stranger is still holding his stick for support. He was there, smiling at my ignorance. I could never see his face after that conversation. I couldn’t even feel his presence though. I decided to continue my journey towards the path as directed by my ‘well-wisher’, the stranger.

...
As I moved further with my excited limbs, the surrounding air suddenly got changed to a fiery storm. It was dry and full of warm mud. I couldn’t see my path anymore, but kept moving, gradually, straight. I could comprehend that odds were against my favor. The nearest help that I could estimate was several miles far. In the storm, I could get a glance of some non-strangers around me. I would term them as ‘Savior’. They already knew me, or some were made to be heard from me. Kneading their eyes with one hand, they hold me with the other and pulled me out of the storm. We moved forward, straight.
...

I was still unaware of my destination. I was not sure whether I would succeed or fail. I was not sure where I would land up in this horizon. I was blindfolded but could sense the direction. Or maybe I was instructed to be so. It happened for 2 months. Then, one day, while I was progressing on my obscured path, I saw something. There was no one nearby. The ground along the path was all deserted. Then my right eye caught a glimpse of rays emanating from a mountain on a side. The ‘White rays’. The rays were as pure as heaven. It was warm and full of radiant energy. I smiled for the first time.
...

I turned back to see if my stranger is still standing behind. I could see his figure in haze. He was still smirking at me. “No”, I thought. “This can’t be true”, I replied myself. With strong determination I couldn’t believe the rays. “These rays are not meant for me. Maybe they have forgotten their own path. Maybe I am not good enough for its pleasure”. With my head lowered down, I started crawling straight, on my path towards the search of ‘actual’ rays. During my journey ahead, my right eye couldn’t escape the warmth of the white rays. After another few months, my eyes caught another glimpse of bright streaks of light. It was dark, strong and coming from my path. With quivering eyes, I tried to look beyond the light, but couldn’t figure out the source. I turned back to see my stranger and for the first time, I found him happy and cheering for me. He clapped for few moments and then raised his right palm to direct me towards the source of this ‘Golden light’. As I stepped forward, the white rays could no longer keep my eyes warm. As I reached halfway towards the source of golden light, I could sense the presence of giant bottle of treasure behind the light. It was gold and was very rich.
...

It was certainly a treasure, but was it made for me? I wondered if I really needed that. Was my path correct at the first place? Is this my correct destination? I kept on thinking till I turned back to see my path. It was full of mud and garbage. It seems there was no turning back. I had reached the extreme. “No”, I said. “I should not have been here”. I was suffocated with the thought that I had chosen a long lost path and reached a treasure that would give me fame and comfort, but it is short-lived. There was no turning back if I had possessed that treasure. It was good, but not as compared to the warmth of white rays. It was flashy, but not as challenging as following the white rays.
...

I raised my head above the ground and against the treasure. I searched for the mountain that was emanating the white rays. The environment was still filled with scary mud and the stranger now looked as defeated and helpless. I smiled at him and progressed towards the mountain emanating the ‘White Rays’…

Relentless pursuit of 'Motivation'

Ok, now that is something we all need in our life.

‘Motivation’

..Motivation to do something you like the most or something that you know will help you in building your future in a dynamic way. This is something that can strengthen your potential to cross the propelling hostile winds and make you capable to smirk at its defeat. This is one driving force that enables you to think beyond your outer sphere and make you dream with eyes wide open. Energies automatically flow in, that invigorate your inner senses. There you get the opportunity to meet the positive attitude that helps by making you a visionary and more importantly a leader in your life.

There are different kinds of motivations. Motivation to excel in your business, motivation to make your career the most productive one, motivation to steal hell lot of money from a bank or motivation to kill someone for benefit. Sorry to mention the last two examples, but the truth is that, every action or reaction per se is impinged by a motivation. This is called motivation to succeed or achieve supremacy. There is no harm in that, just that conflicting motivation often create turbulences. Anyways, my point in raising this subject is that every individual is drifted towards achievements by one of the factors called ‘Motivation’.

What if you don’t have the motivation to get your paths set for success? What if your motivation drifts you towards a different objective? What if your motivations to dream takes a different turn altogether? And what if your motivation is all killed? This is the stage when you feel like being stabbed from behind. “Everyone is motivated to do something of their choice, than why not me? What I have done wrong? Isn’t that I have equal right to dream, a dream bigger than my capabilities?” Consequences are obvious and encouragements become futile. What happens to your ambitions? Are they still the same, same as solid? It feels like perception of life is all changed. “Now you are no longer motivated towards achievements in your life. Infact you are, but your subject is now changed. Now it’s your choice, chase the reality or escape from it, whatever you feel is less painful.” But do remember that motivation isn’t preceded with just hard work and a sheer dream. Luck plays an important character in these relentless efforts. With swarm of people enfolded with innumerable ambitions in their eyes, it becomes important that luck dances your way. But again, it’s not in your prospective.

So what should we do? How can we keep our eyes open and not let a drop tickle over them? How can we avoid seeing a river made into following a different path? How to please the utmost characters in our life that make you dance every time commotion hits you from behind?

In relentless pursuit of answers to these…

No pest-ering anymore

Letter to my juniors…

Once upon a time, I had a good time living with my family. After my marriage, we had decided to shift our base from a filthy locality called ‘Kamaan’ to some valley in a posh locality known as Banjara hills. It was called as ‘Amrutha valley’. It was nice valley with all sort of rich and average kind of people. There was an apartment on the ground floor that we chose to make our dream house. We knew it by our trusted spies that this apartment was recently rented to nice new wedded couple. We thought of giving them their wedding gift. On recommendations, all in our community decided to raid the house and spread our reach to every possible corner. My two little children and I along with my husband took shelter in a small, undersized gap in a joint in water pipeline located in the kitchen. We had a nice cozy environment there. During the heat, we used to squeeze in the gap and stick to the water pipeline to get a breeze from gushing water inside. Sometimes we used to dive from our residence into the deep, cool sink below where these humans keep their used utensils. The food stuck on to these utensils was more than enough for my family. Every night we used to treat ourselves by diving into these food particles, and normally roaming in around the gas burners to get some really big pieces. And please…I am not at all ashamed of this. I could see numerous of my species struggling around in the kitchen to get access to every bit of opportunity. Some were even able to make their way into the miniscule gaps in water filter that could leave the resident dumbfound with the whole idea of purified water. Some could get the access to the refrigerator and I must salute the one who could successfully enter the freezing area and stay their for some days or nights or weeks…actually I don’t remember, finally he was thrown out of the area as a dead.

This guy was super-cool. Every time he sees us; he took out his liquid machine and spray at us indiscriminately. Initially we were very scared with his actions as many of our species died because of this miraculous liquid. We had called an emergency meeting and decided to fight back these bastards. We all developed the resistance towards this liquid spray and whenever he tried to spray at us, we used to act for a while and as soon as he leave the place, we regain our conscious and start our daily chores. I must admit, after some weeks, I was even affectionate towards this liquid. It gave us the moment to get perfumed and attract other male species..!!! He was very irritated sometimes. I still remember the day when he found some of my relatives in a pack of tissue papers carefully stacked over the dining table. This was the dare-devil act and I must salute them as well.

We were living happily and our kids were now full grown species, but one fine day….

The lovely couple had returned from some long vacations, and it seems they were quite furious about the way we had explored the whole area. Two weeks later, we saw some unknown guy who was fixing something over the walls. All of a sudden he came close to our house and pasted a big drop of something really good. It was good time for a feast…I thought. We couldn’t resist our temptation and all of sudden barged upon that fruity cream. I had a sour throat, so couldn’t help but to resist such feast. I had a nice time looking at my family feeling happy and satisfied after such nice party. I was relieved…it was a nice break after long dry spell. After some time I had the most disastrous nightmare of my life. All of a sudden my husband and children started coughing and getting impatient excessively. As I look outside, many of our species were seen swallowed to death. All the bodies were seen scattered over the floor. The sink was filled with filthy layer of deceased ones. There was a hue and cry all over the place. And finally, I felt my family lying over my hands. They were all gone. I felt, we did a mistake to spread our cruelties over this human place. We could develop the resistance towards the magical spray, but couldn’t hold on our temptations towards a fruity gel.

As I leave this place in distress, all I want to say is… 'I am sorry'

Yours truly,
Mrs. Cockroach# 201
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Narration by: Cockroach residing in our house since many ages
The magical liquid is cockroach repellant known as ‘Hit’, and the fruity feast is the gel used by pest control people.

..and now by this time, you would’ve known who the guy is

The 'Iron' in Me

"Why is that we are born so fragile that we end up being a flimsy piece of junk? I was not the same before. I was not brought up like the same before. I was not destined to be like same before. Then why was I made so brittle in the end…”

*

“I was as hard as rock when I was smacked with a heavy hammer. The ambience was smelting with heat emanating from blacksmith’s oven. He was scary and had a face covered with dense, grave moustache and his head covered with cloud of filthy hair. He seems to be like evil and had beaten me like anything. I was shattered with every blow that ripped apart my tough scalp.”

*

Every human being is born with a confidence to live a life full of ornamental trails and throbbing pathways as well. The sore experiences make the man taste the blood and take revenge against the unfavorable expected circumstances in future. I am talking about a piece of iron that is as hard as a human being, which is shattered with painful blows of incidents that had featured in its life. A life seems like an evil, covered with dense, grave moustache and his head covered with cloud of filthy hair.

*

“I wasn’t expecting him to surrender and offer me to the perilous fire that has been burning the oil beneath…But he did that. Fire was as intense as my beliefs were. It was hard like a solid and firm like a destiny. I resisted the fire and tried to breathe in the hell…But failed”

*

We are acustomed to face the pain that can be controlled in our limits and have a tendency to retain our comfort zone. But the actual real life is far from our expectations. More audicious we try to become, more are the obstructions created for us. These obstructions are cruel as fire and some call it one’s destiny. But there is a limit for the audacity, there is a limit for the patience. Beyond a certain point it is hard to resist the fire and eventually the metal like iron turns pliant.

*

“The pain is no more…I became immune to the thumps of hammer. I was shattered and was loosing my brittleness. I was gradually chiseled to form a sharp pointed weapon. I was waiting for the hammer that can make my edges sharp as a razor. I was growing. I was turned into a weapon from a mere junk. He poured me into the cold water and heat from my body released to air above water as fumes. I was turning grey. I was as hard as diamond. He turned to me..he winked and then smiled. He appreciated his job. I smiled him back. I thanked him for his job. I was ready to create my beginning.”

*

It is hard to believe that there are many things that are not under your control. Its frustating. People call it bad culture or intellectuals calls it a destiny. When you have reached the extreme, you will become immune to all the pains that you are suffering. They hardly matter to you anymore…

*

But this is not the end of the narration. In our life, we have faced so many sufferings that we pretend having reached the extreme. We become immune to any atrocities showered upon us. Its tragic and it feels like the end of the world. But this is not the end of the narration. Junk piece of iron will turn into sharp edged weapon. And the weapon need not care about the fire anymore. There is a mount at the end of the hope. The fire will bring the best out of you without which you will remain trash as before.

*

Many a times in my career and relationships I use to think, why is that I was born so fragile that I end up being a flimsy piece of junk? I was not the same before. I was not brought up like the same before. I was not destined to be like same before. Then why was I made so brittle in the end…and then I came to realize the piece of iron turning into a sharp weapon and this is exactly I am supposed to think. I am shattered and beaten but slowly carving into weapon.

*

I am waiting to create my beginning…!!!

Crawling ants

“…we were crawling with limp legs over him with a caution. A drop of sweat slide from the scalp of his deceased head and made it's way through rear of the left ear, finally tickled over the bare shoulder and got absorbed in smoldered body. He was such familiar with the pain we were offering him that he had no expressions left for us and let us astonished at him. The ambience was damp with the sweat of burned, exposed bodies and air was filled with stench of foul breath. His garment was tattered with several claws clinging to get every piece of it. His skin had turned hard and brown with dust wrapping the superficial skin. He was gripped with brown, thick clutches that were shedding their rust over his stiff, dry hands. Their imprints could be felt over his pulses. He was sitting at one corner of the wooden encroachment and looking up at the three holes that were dig for the air to get inhaled into the vacuity. The warm rays of sun were intruding from these holes and were resting over his right fist making it brighter than the other one. He raised the other hand and with aching efforts, tried to close the left fist with the streak of sun ray within. The rays pour over the mesh formed by his clutched fingers and then a drop of tear emerged from his eye. He raised his face towards the three holes with moist eyes and anger flow inside the veins running through the ripples formed over his forehead….”

“For the past one year, I had been crawling over him over the same place and biting him at the same spot. Initially he used to howl at me while cursing his destiny, but all in vain. His pain had slowly transformed into numbness and then he started smirking at me with a grin. I know that finally he will let the sun rays fall over his feet and he will rest his head over his fists and will die wailing for lid to get open for the last time, but why should I care…!! Let me take pleasure in his pain.”

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Well don’t pain your brain over this short imagination..!! This is a superficial imagination about a man trapped inside an enclosure for the past one year. Since then he had been watching the rays coming out of three holes dig on the roof lid. He had a wish to take control over the impossible by clutching the rays in his fists, and as expected he failed miserably everytime. At that moment he realized that he is under regulations and is not allowed to go against the nature. It is the time when he started feeling the pain bestowed by the crawling ants. Just like him all of us are living in a closed environment wherein we experience pain and pleasure at the same time. Sometimes you feel like getting out of the solid clutches and dart out of the closure by smashing on the roof lid. But the clutches won’t allow you to raise your potential and finally you see rays of hope. You try to hold these and go against the customs, but in vain, and then you realize the pain within you. In short, you get to realize your limitations when you attempt to go against the obvious.

But the real courage is to hold the rays in your hands and smile at the crawling ants…!!!

Favorite song that changed my life...

Kuchh is tarah teri palkein
meri palkon se mila de…
Aasoon tere… saare
meri palkon pe saja de…

Tu har ghadi…har waqt
mere saath raha hai…
Haan hai yeh jism …kabhi duur, kabhi paas raha hai...

Jo bhi ghum hain yeh tere
Unhe tu mera pata de…

Kuchh is tarah teri palkein
meri palkon se mila de…
Aasoon tere… saare
meri palkon pe saja de…

Mujhko to tere chehre pe
Yeh ghum nahi jajjta…
Jaaiz nahi lagta
mujhe ghum se tera yeh rishta…
Sun meri ek guzarish…ise chehre se haata de...

Kuchh is tarah teri palkein
meri palkon se mila de…
Aasoon tere… saare
meri palkon pe saja de…
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I haven't listened to any such song which has the pain to the extent as depicted in this one. The lyrics coupled with the voice of Atif reflect the pain experienced by a lover for his love...This is true, that the real love is not just spending money for treats, rather it is the state when you get paralyzed by seeing someone in pain..someone sad. The song shows the willingness to share the tears with your love...to share the sorrow that is troubling her...because you know, no matter how strong you behave, but you will not have enough strength to see your love in pain. I had been listening to this song since my MBA days, and could fantasize about the selfless love dedicated here. Believe me, from men's point of view, this could be regarded as maximum one can feel...

Could just hope he gets the reflection as expected from her. To all the women/girls in this world- Realize and give respect for his love, you may not be seeing it clearly..!!!